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Safety Planning for You & Your People
When I was training to be a therapist and seeing my first clients there was so much pressure put on making sure a client was “safe.” It felt like monitoring or policing… make sure they are not having suicidal thoughts and if they even mention it you gotta jump on safety planning immediately. They even had us make “no-harm contracts” – a few sentences written and signed that state you will not harm yourself before your next appointment. Does that sound like something that would make you want to stay alive?
This approach makes sense if you know where suicide prevention got it’s start – trying to prevent enslaved people from unaliving. How I was taught to safety plan with clients was all about protecting the therapist’s liability. Connection and consent were not priorities.
There are so many aspects of mental health treatment that never quite set right within my soul. Investing in deeply understanding the harm that “psychology” has done through exploring decolonizing therapy and the MAD movement has allowed me to challenge the idea of healing I was taught and deprogram my understanding of mental health.
I now ask myself often why things are the way they are. Where did this “norm” come from? And what would actually support AND empower people?
I want to give you some resources to plan for your safety with your people and your community. Resources that feel like something you’d actually use. But let’s start with why safety planning is important.
Why Safety Plan?
Brace yourself for some numbers that are upsetting. Take care of yourself. Take Breaks. Stop reading completely. Use my emergency resources if you need! Make the right choice for you.
Resources for Statistics
NIMH Suicide Information
CDC Suicide Data & Statistics
NIMH Suicide Statistics
What do you feel in your body right now?
While writing this, my jaw tightens. My stomach feels empty. My breathing is more shallow and tight. I feel dread. Hopelessness. Rage.
Notice these sensations
You don’t have to fix them. They should be there. Let that wave come. Cry if you need to. Move if you need to. Sit still if you need to. Emotions and these sensations are temporary – your body is just protecting you. Let the wave come up and then watch it come back down.
If you need more time – stop here. What does your body need? Bathroom? Food? Walk? Nap – whatever it needs – give that to your body.
If you’re ready – let’s keep going…
If this many people are dying by suicide, especially young people, maybe it’s not chemical imbalances in our brains and diagnoses causing all our issues. Maybe the systems and the world we are living in are causing more pain than our nervous systems were meant to deal with. Would there be this many deaths by suicide if everyone had healthcare, stable living, etc?
So much of the mental health industrial complex’s approach when we are in crisis is abusive, causes more trauma and does not give long-term solutions. But we don’t have to be alone in our pain – we can support ourselves and each other by having a solid crisis plan in place with our people and our therapist (if you have one).
Mental Health Awareness Month Challenge
Mental health emergency situations and what is helpful during these times looks different for each of us. It’s important to create something that connects with you – not something that is just a checkbox when you are in crisis so other people feel like you won’t hurt yourself.
You can create something from a completely blank slate but I find it helpful to have some structure. I like using Kayden Rose’s “Keeping Us Safe: A Wellness Centered Madness Map & Crisis Planning Guide Sheets.” This group of worksheets borrows from several resources to give you options for creating something that works for you.
Make sure you center Compassion, Connection, & Consent
Complete What You Connect With
There are no grades on a safety plan. So really consider what would actually help you.
Complete what worksheets you want. Skip the ones that don’t. Change the activity/cross things out. This is for you.
Do this Before You are in Crisis
We are not able to use the rational/logical part of our brain well when we are dysregulated. Filling this out when you are regulated helps you be able to come up with ideas that actually work for you. It’s also just kind to your brain & body.
Don’t Do This Alone
Completing a plan like this is something you might want to keep to yourself… I get it. But a regulated connection is one of the main things that helps our body come back to safety. You can share with your friend, therapist, family member, support group, etc.
Consider a “Pod” or Group Activity
Coming together as a community to all complete a plan together helps fight the individualism in our culture. You can make deep connections, have interconnected plans, and take the spotlight off one person as “broken”
Ask Therapist About Crisis Policies
Did you know that your therapist LEGALLY required to reach out to police and/or your emergency contact if they believe you intend to die by suicide? It is VERY fair to ask if they have involved the police before and in exactly what situations they would.
Record Desires for if You End Up on a Involuntary “Psych Hold”
Whether you gave consent or not, I encourage people to put on their plan what they would like to occur if they are placed on a “hold.” Things like preference of facility, what happens with your pets, living situation after, who to call, etc. Even if our choice is taken away – how can we have some say in things?
THAT’S IT!
This does not have to be so serious. Make it fun – listen to music, have your favorite snacks while you create, have a party with friends all doing your plan together.
Maybe you don’t need fun – maybe you need calming things while you create, like certain music, being outside by a river, cozy tea.
This is not a plan to create because you are failing and suck so bad. This is us understanding that it is so completely normal to have bad days and want to move on… so we plan for it and support each other.
SHARE WITH ME!
I’d love to hear from you! Share your safety plan, ideas for crisis planning, or group activities. You can leave me a comment here, check out my instagram, or sign up for my newsletter to stay connected! If you’re interested to see what services I have that might be able to support you – fill out my contact form!
Additional Resources
Emergency Resources
BSHN Emergency Resources
Mental Health Support Guide Blog
Guide to Finding a Therapist
Organizations
Mad in American
Project LETS
Other Safety Plans
Mapping Our Madness Zine
Pod Mapping Worksheet
